Tuesday, 9 April 2013

17 Reasons to quit Facebook and smell the roses.


 I no longer have facebook and I'm ok with that.I honestly thought that I would dearly miss it  but I really don't.Here are my 17 reasons for renouncing facebook.

1.It's  a pointless time sucker,like watching paint dry then licking it to check that it's dry.

2.You don't need to know what everyone is doing all  the time,plus it's called stalking in the real world.

3.No one needs to know what you are doing every second because quite simply it's banal.

4.It's  like having a bad crack cocaine addiction as if you can have a good  crack addiction,it's habit forming.Give it up,your eyes and skin might start to look better again.You might actually be able to pull yourself away from the pooter and finally have that shower after stinking up the house for a month.

5.You don't have to worry about not  being cool or being way to cool.Let's face it, you are cool and people just don't deal with that very well so they befriend you.How dare them,I'm hurt and to use a word that is so popular on facebook" butt hurt" .It's OK I'll get over it,really I will.....

6.You no longer wonder why someone you hardly know has defriend you, why doesn't anyone like your status updates and why do you even care.

7.See this is getting ridiculous but I know most people wander about these things (see no 6), after all we are only human and at best sensitive and irrational beings.

8.You no longer ignore your children,spouse,cat, dog or possum but you can still choose to ignore your mother in- law.

9.No more facebook anxiety or anxiously checking your notification's at a family outing or get together,public toilet,at the supermarket or under the knife for major surgery, what a cliche !

10.You do not have to worry about shocking photos of yourself  or sitting on the floor with your head over a toilet bowl,chucking your guts out.Heaven forbid you have frizzy hair instead of salon perfect hair.

11.Because you no longer care what everyone has had for breakfast,lunch,dinner and pictures of other peoples food makes you want to throw up.

12.No one needs to know about your gazillion whiny little problems and that disgusting pimple on your butt,or that  man you just met for 5 mins and now you are getting married and 5 mins later you hate his guts and now you are divorced.You don't really care because you met this person over 20 years ago at your sisters friends , uncle's cousins wedding (???)  and she sat on your table but never actually said anything to you.Now she  remembers your name,looks you up and hey presto you got a new friend on facebook.You  don't actually like this person but for some reason you can't bear to defriend them,hello what's wrong with you girlfriend ? Delete facebook now !

13.You don't have to read annoying status updates.

14.No more horrible duck faces who wear to much make up.

15.Quite simply Facebook violates your privacy.

16.Spend time with real people who really matter to you most instead of people who don't really give a toss about you.

17.You will feel better,freer and more zen because you do not have a zillion other peoples thoughts constantly streaming,screaming,vying for your attention and crowding your mind.Seriously you will still exist without facebook as you are not your facebook status updates.

These are only some of the reasons but I could go on and on and on but I won't.Have you quit  facebook yet ? go on, do it, I dare you.I hear you asking me but  what should I DO WITH MY  LIFE...my answer to that is meditate in a cave and work it out. Good luck everyone and go out there and smell the roses.

1 comment:

  1. I am on FB - but I agree with you - only use for my business and few international friends - no games - no drams (usually) etc..... no updates on my stautus etc